Monday, February 16, 2009

right now...

life is making me crazy. There are far to many contrasting feelings and emotions to handle. I'm a very happy individual, most of the time, but certain things weigh me down in ways that I can't always cope with. It feels like certain situations were simply destined for deconstructing my hopes and wishes. The moment that I feel circumstances are ideal, is the very moment that things begin to crumble. My life has seemingly slipped into this pattern of getting my hopes up only to have them crushed.

C'est la vie.

In other news, I think I'm going to get a tattoo soon. I've had many ideas running through my head for a good long time, and I think I've finally decided what that first one is going to be. Mewithoutyou is probably one of my favorite bands of all time. Their music is more original and moving than anything I've listened to in my lifetime, and their lyrics(written by one of the most inspirational individuals I know of, Aaron Weiss) speak volumes to my life and my struggles. In the first song I heard from them, there is a stanza written in french that goes like this...

Je leverai les yeux a toi
J'ai change cent foi de nom
Je leverai les yeux a toi
Je n'ai pas d'espoir

roughly translated:
I will raise my eyes to you
I have changed my name [many] 100 times
I will raise my eyes to you
i have no hope
(the last line is disputable)

i'm looking to get this blasted on my inner right arm. now, to find the money to get it done with...